Are You Ever Too Old To Make Friends?

I feel socially lonely.

And it’s not the kind of loneliness that comes from being by yourself.

It’s the kind that comes from not fully relating to the people who love you the most.

That’s a different kind of quiet.

When I was younger, I used to take pride in being different.

I liked standing out.

I enjoyed school.

Church.

Running around outside with neighborhood kids, climbing trees, just being free.

I loved the values my great-grandparents and my uncles poured into me.

I loved being my mother’s first child to graduate from high school…

And then college.

I loved who I was becoming.

But somewhere along the way…

Life kept moving.

And now those accomplishments feel like memories sitting on a shelf.

Still meaningful…

But distant.

Friends came and went.

Life shifted.

And now I find myself in a space where I want more.

I want connection.

Real connection.

I want to sit at Starbucks with friends and talk about life like we’ve got nowhere else to be.

I want to travel—first class, yes ma’am—with my boo and a solid circle.

I want to build the kind of life where those moments feel normal.

And I believe those things will happen.

I really do.

But before they do…

There’s a part of me that has to change.

Because right now?

I don’t reach out.

People call me.

We talk.

We laugh.

We catch up.

And then we go back to life.

But me?

Calling people first?

Whew.

Let’s just say… I blame customer service for that.

Years of talking on the phone will make you allergic to it.

But if I’m being honest with myself…

That’s something I need to work on.

Because connection requires effort.

Not just receiving it…

But initiating it.

And that means I have to step outside of my comfort zone.

(And yes… I am currently rocking back and forth just thinking about it 😂)

So here I am…

Trying to figure out how to start.

Because part of me is ready.

And another part of me is like:

“Girl… have you seen what’s going on outside? It’s still a little too germy for meet and greets.”

So yes…

Fear tried to slide in and shut the whole idea down.

But I had to catch that real quick.

Because growth doesn’t wait for perfect conditions.

So maybe I don’t jump all the way in.

Maybe I don’t force anything.

Maybe I just start small.

A text.

A quick call.

A “Hey, I was thinking about you.”

And then build from there.

Because the life I’m imagining?

The friendships I want?

The experiences I’m dreaming about?

They’re on the other side of me trying.

So no…

I’m not stuck.

I’m just starting.

Slow.

A little awkward.

A little unsure.

But starting anyway.

And let me ask this before I go…

Because I know I’m not the only one thinking it:

Is there an app for making friends?

Because if dating apps exist…

There has to be something for this too.