Apology Not Accepted
When I was younger, I started creating rules for my life.
And to be honest…
They probably looked strange to other people.
But for me?
They weren’t about control.
They were about protection.
Protection of my peace.
My growth.
My sanity.
And over time, these five rules became the foundation I live by:
1. Give people a second chance, but don’t give people multiple chances to mess up your life.
2. Raise your children based on the child, not you. Every child isn’t the same.
3. Apologize when you’re wrong—and stop apologizing if you are a habitual line crosser. Learn how to stop crossing the line.
4. Stop accepting apologies for the same offense. They don’t understand why they are apologizing.
5. If it’s not your story to tell, don’t tell it.
Now out of all of these…
Number 4?
That’s the one people struggle with the most.
And I get it.
Because from a young age, we’re taught something important:
If you do wrong…
You apologize.
You make it right.
And you try not to do it again.
That’s what we’re taught.
And honestly?
That’s not wrong.
But somewhere along the way…
That lesson gets twisted.
Because what happens when someone keeps doing the same thing over and over again…
And keeps apologizing for it?
At what point does “I’m sorry” stop meaning anything?
For me, an apology isn’t just words.
It’s responsibility.
If I’ve wronged someone, I don’t just say sorry.
I think about what I did.
Why I did it.
And how I can make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Because an apology without change…
Is just a placeholder.
It fills the moment.
But it doesn’t fix the problem.
And that’s where rule number 4 comes in.
Stop accepting repeated apologies for the same offense.
Because if the behavior isn’t changing…
Then the apology isn’t real.
It’s routine.
And routine apologies create cycles.
Cycles of hurt.
Cycles of frustration.
Cycles that keep people stuck.
Now don’t get me wrong…
People make mistakes.
That’s human.
But growth?
Growth is also part of being human.
And if someone truly understands why they’re apologizing…
You’ll see it in what they do next.
Not just what they say.
Because words are easy.
Change?
That takes effort.
At the end of the day, people will offend people.
That’s not new.
But what matters is what comes after.
The apology.
The accountability.
The correction.
And when all three of those line up?
That’s where real change happens.
Because it would be nice…
If saying sorry and doing better always went hand in hand.
But until then…
That’s why I have rules.
Not to control life.
But to protect myself while I’m living it.
