Chaos Before Change

The Derek Chauvin trial is finally coming to an end. He was found guilty on all three counts. Next is the sentencing.

Did I find happiness in the verdict? No. I know I should, but it’s too soon for me to celebrate. For me, the sentencing is the true factor that will help determine what changes are needed to make all Americans feel safer when approached by police. I am happy that the family of George Floyd can find some happiness in the verdict and comfort in knowing that justice is being served.

I don’t find comfort in someone else’s misfortune. And with the sentencing scheduled a few weeks from now, I don’t know how to feel.

No matter the sentence, I am looking forward to the change that this case will bring to law enforcement. Change is already happening. Unfortunately, I’ve noticed something about change—chaos often comes before it can take root.

Transition cannot plant its seeds when chaos appears. First comes drama, then chaos. And that chaos causes people to forget the progress that has been made.

Chaos is overshadowing the victory in the verdict. Don’t believe me? Turn on the news. Read social media. One judicial victory, followed by multiple tragedies involving police. I’m not saying these events are directly related—but by default, they feel connected.

Police-related deaths are reappearing at a pivotal moment in this country. Just when we see light, storm clouds form.

This post is not meant to disrespect law enforcement. I understand the work it takes to become an officer and maintain that position. It is a role meant to protect and serve.

But there is a problem.

Officers are allowed to use force based on fear. “I was in fear for my life” is a phrase we’ve heard too often. It feels embedded.

I believe there should be deeper background checks—mental, emotional, psychological—to better assess how officers respond to fear.

I am thankful that Chauvin’s case did not rely on that defense. This trial can serve as a turning point for stricter policies and accountability.

For me, this is personal.

I have anxiety around law enforcement.

As a child, I witnessed racial slurs used by officers. I saw neighbors treated brutally. As an adult, I cared for a family member beaten by police. My son is frequently pulled over and searched.

Because of these experiences, I want reform.

I want to feel safe.

I want my children to feel safe.

I want to stop having “the talk” with my son about how to survive encounters with police.

I’m ready for change.