Listen to Yourself

I recently faced an unavoidable decision, and for once… I did not doubt myself.

That might not sound like a big deal to some people, but self-doubt is something I didn’t know how to face. All I knew was that I had to find the root of it. Dig deeper—go as deep as possible until it couldn’t be broken down anymore.

And that’s exactly what I did.

I dug.

I wanted to know why I doubted myself.

That search felt like a never-ending free fall—one I thought I would never be able to answer.

Surprisingly, the answer came to me while I was updating my website for the fall. I started reading through some of my older posts, and as I read, I began to notice a pattern.

Then it hit me.

Self-doubt was encoded in me during childhood.

Let me be clear: I am not blaming anyone for the decisions I’ve made in my adult life. I’m simply sharing a personal discovery that has led to growth.

I remember telling my parents how I felt when my life was turned upside down after being removed from my great-grandparents. I was used to expressing myself and being heard.

That day, I was told my feelings didn’t matter because I was a child.

Shortly after, I became sick and needed my inhaler. I remember asking for it and being told I would get it after school.

The next day, I felt worse—but I held on, thinking relief was coming.

Relief did come… but only after I passed out and ended up in the hospital.

That moment changed something in me.

I didn’t suffer because I didn’t speak up.

I suffered because no one listened.

After that, I can recall many situations where I gave warnings that went unheard… and preventable things still happened.

It didn’t stop me from speaking—but it created something else.

A blanket of doubt.

I started seeing red flags and ignoring them.

Not because I didn’t see them…

but because I didn’t trust myself enough to act on them.

It became easy for me to listen to others.

To trust others.

To encourage others to believe in themselves…

while I wasn’t doing the same for me.

Once I recognized that pattern, I had to sit with it.

I had to acknowledge that my intuition had always been strong.

I just refused to fully trust it.

I told myself I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Didn’t want to disrupt anything.

But in reality?

I was silencing myself.

And that stops here.

What I feel matters.

What I sense matters.

What I know—even when I can’t explain it—matters.

Life is always going to throw curveballs.

The question is whether we learn from them.

So if you’re dealing with self-doubt like I was…

start listening to yourself.

Trust what you feel.

Build on that trust.

Because once you do…

your confidence, your patience, and your strength will grow.

And as simple as it sounds…

you really do got this.