Children Have Voices Too

As a child, I was taught many things.

Manners.

How to cross the street.

How to pray before eating.

All the basics that help shape you into a decent human being.

But out of everything I was taught…

There’s one thing that has stayed with me the most:

The freedom I felt.

My great-grandparents didn’t raise me with that “do as I say, not as I do” energy.

They didn’t silence me.

They didn’t dismiss me.

They listened.

They asked me how I felt.

They spoke to me like my thoughts mattered.

And when I didn’t understand something, they corrected me—but never in a way that made me feel small.

I felt seen.

I felt heard.

I felt like I mattered.

And when I became an adult…

I knew I wanted to give that same feeling to my children.

So I made a decision.

I was going to raise them with a voice.

So far, I can see that foundation taking shape.

Three of my six children are walking in that space already.

The other three?

They’re getting there.

And that’s okay.

Because what I love the most is this:

My children speak.

They speak their minds respectfully.

They engage in conversations.

They ask questions.

They express themselves.

I can sit down and have a real conversation with my 11-year-old—and we both enjoy it.

My 12-year-old talks to me about her goals and what she wants out of life.

And my 3-year-old?

She is soaking up knowledge like a sponge and using it every single day.

And I’m not going to lie…

Watching that makes me proud.

Real proud.

But here’s where things get a little complicated.

Not everyone sees that as a good thing.

There are adults who believe that children should be seen and not heard.

That children using “big words” or expressing themselves too clearly is somehow… disrespectful.

And I experienced that firsthand.

My daughter used the word “technically” while explaining something about Pluto.

A simple word.

Used correctly.

Confidently.

And instead of just acknowledging her intelligence…

An adult suggested that using a word like that could be seen as disrespectful.

Let me say that again.

A child expressing herself clearly… was seen as disrespectful.

And that right there?

That didn’t sit right with me.

Because what message are we really sending to our children when we do that?

“Speak… but not too well.”

“Think… but not too deeply.”

“Express yourself… but make it comfortable for me.”

No.

Children have voices.

They have thoughts.

They have feelings.

They have their own sense of identity that is still forming.

And when we shut that down…

We’re not teaching respect.

We’re teaching silence.

Somewhere along the way, a lot of adults forgot what it felt like to be a child.

To have something to say…

And be dismissed.

Or maybe they were raised in environments where they weren’t allowed to speak.

And now, that same pattern is being repeated.

Either way…

It’s time to break that.

We have to listen to the next generation.

Not just hear them—but listen.

Because they’re watching us.

They’re processing what’s happening in the world.

And they’re trying to make sense of it all in their own way.

And here’s the part we have to be careful with:

When we talk to our children about what’s going on…

We have to give them truth.

Not just opinion.

Because when we overload them with our fears, our anger, our frustrations…

We risk passing that down to them.

And just like that…

A new cycle begins.

A new set of fears.

A new set of limitations.

A new generation left to undo what we passed down.

We can’t afford that.

My children are aware of what’s happening in the world.

From the pandemic…

To the things happening in our communities.

But more importantly…

I talk to them.

I check in with their emotions.

I ask them how they feel.

I listen to what they’re thinking.

Because I may not be a perfect parent…

But I know this:

When I sit down and truly listen to my children…

I learn more about them.

And they learn that their voice matters.

So from one parent to another…

Let’s start including our children in the conversation.

Let’s create safe spaces for them to speak.

Let’s ask them how they feel—and actually listen to the answer.

And let’s guide them…

Not silence them.

Because the next generation isn’t just watching us.

They’re becoming who we show them how to be.